


Call Me A Psycho Schizo-Freak, And I'll Call You By Your Name

by n4rut0runn3r



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Humanstuck, Mature for swearing, Will update tags as story progresses, pesterchum
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:20:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26475583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n4rut0runn3r/pseuds/n4rut0runn3r
Summary: humanstuck, highschool au. Gamzee and Sollux are paired up for a class assignment and they become friends, maybe more? Who knows, but what we do know is that both of these losers are dysfunctional
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Sollux Captor/Gamzee Makara
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Call Me A Psycho Schizo-Freak, And I'll Call You By Your Name

**Author's Note:**

> Devoted to my friend Lex, love ya!

The wind blew through the trees, kicking up the fallen leaves. The school bell rings in the distance as the buses pull away from the entrance of the school and drive away to the bus garage. As they drive away it looks as if every student is inside. All but one.  Gamzee was finishing off his cigarette and ground it into the pavement with the heel of his shoe. He pulled out some axe body spray and sprayed down his jacket, knowing that if the teachers caught him smoking again, even if it was just a normal smoke, that they would call up his dad and he didn’t need that shit. He headed inside and paused a moment to go to the bathroom. He touched up his eyeliner and headed to class. Just as the final bell rang, he sat down in his seat.

He hadn't a clue what was going on, but as long as he was here, he wouldn’t get in trouble again. The teachers have given up on calling on him, so he usually just pulls out a notebook and doodles on the pages while listening to his music through his earbuds. Today in history class they were assigned a partner project and  Gamzee already knew who he was picking. His best bro in the whole wide world,  Karkat . The last time that the teachers assigned partners for a project he got paired up with that douche nozzle Dave Strider, boy that did not go well, he got an F for the project, but fortunately so did that Strider.  Gamzee cannot believe that his best bro is even friends with Strider.  Gamzee knows that he has got a couple screws loose, but damn at least he knew.

“Alright, so since you all keep choosing the same partner groups for projects and leaving people out, I am choosing who is working together so everyone has an equal opportunity of success.” Oh shit.  Gamzee did not like the sound of that. He almost always gets the short end of the stick and ends up either stuck doing all the work or failing. Normally he would just fail, but he already has a D in this class. The teacher started naming off who was going to be partnered together and he heard  Karkat’s name.  Gamzee started praying that his name would be called after but his heart sunk when it wasn’t him, but it was Dave.  Gamzee looked over and saw  Karkat blush to his ears,  Jegus , he really is a lost cause. “ Gamzee Makara-”  Gamzee lifted his head and looked at the teacher. “-and  Sollux Captor”. Aw bitch tits. He hasn’t really had the chance to talk to this damn nerd, but he’s part of  Karkat’s friend group. He seems like the sort of loser that would fortnight dance at prom. That is even if he would get invited to prom because he's a loser. 

Gamzee didn’t leave his seat as the class got up and moved around to sit next to their assigned partner. He was  gonna make the Captor walk over to him.  Sollux makes eye contact, but refuses to get up from his seat as well.  Gamzee looks away and puts his earbuds back in, the musical laughter drowning out the laughter he was hearing in the distance. He hopes that it is the other students laughing at him. Eventually  Sollux sits down across from  Gamzee . He pulls his earbuds out and looks over at Captor. 

“So, what a  mofo like you have planned for this project?” Then he hears the guy speak. 

“Well, what  ith that  thupothed to mean? I don’t plan on doing jack, you are  gonna do all the work.”  Gamzee starts laughing uncontrollably. This loser thinks that  Gamzee is  gonna do all the work? And he sounds like he has a mile and a half between his front teeth.

“you best believe in miracles if you think that I am doing anything.”  Gamzee says as he tries to control his laughter, “Listen here. I can give you the ideas, but I  ain’t doin shit when it comes to power points or presenting.”

“Well, what  maketh you think that I want to do any of that?!”  Sollux looks flustered, like no one has ever tried going against what his ideas were. Like he was expecting  Gamzee to be a little pushover like the rest of his friend group. 

“Well, since I am so fucking generous, how about we figure out how to work together? I don’t know who you think you are, but you are no better than me, so don’t try treating ME like a fuckin doormat,  capiche ?” The nerd slouched in his seat and decided to open his notebook in defeat. They started working on their project. It turns out that they both had a fairly good idea about what the project was going to be on.  Sollux agreed to work on the power point because  Gamzee didn’t have access to a computer at home and he can't type shit on a phone. By the time that  Gamzee had finished writing out the draft the bell rang. He packed up his things and made his way to second period.

Gamzee delt with the rest of his classes in the same way, doing minimal to mediocre work. It felt like the day was dragging and he was getting a headache. He needed to smoke, but knew sneaking out during class would be the worst idea. He thinks for a moment that he should have taken his meds this morning, but he hasn’t taken them in almost a week so he’s  kinda scared that he might overdose if he jumps back in to his prescribed aripiprazole. He probably won’t but he uses it as an excuse. 

He makes it lunch, and decides to skip food and just buys a monster from the vending machine. He finds himself sneaking out behind the A.G shed, only to find  sollux hiding out in a Honda parked by the metal workshop.

“ Ey motha fucka , what’s a bro like you doing out here?” He asked, trying to take the coolest looking puff off of his cig. He ended up inhaling to hard and started coughing. He leaned up against the wall, slipped and faceplanted in the pavement, he swears he isn’t high.

“Wow bro, that was  thoooo cool. Where you learn that?”  Sollux tried to deadpan, but ended up laughing.  Gamzee stood up and retrieved his monster. He opened it and it sprayed all over his face and clothes. “Aww  thit , uh, I think I have a towel in here somewhere.”  Sollux said just loud enough to be heard, as he opened up the trunk to his car. He pulled out a towel and rummaged around a bit more. “Uh, I don’t think that I have any  clotheth for you to change into, I hope  thith helpth .” He said as he handed the towel to a thoroughly embarrassed Gamzee.

“Thanks for the miracle bro.”  Gamzee said as he wiped the towel down his face and smeared his eyeliner. “... Uh, if a bro wants do you want to exchange  Pesterchum handles?”  Gamzee asked, unknowing of his appearance.  Sollux looked to think on the offer for a second, before asking  Gamzee to hand over his phone.  Gamzee pulled out his busted phone, he broke it once by throwing it at the wall in a fit of rage, he unlocked it and handed it to  Sollux with  Pesterchum open.  Sollux messed with his phone for a minute then handed it back to him.  Sollux then took out his phone and typed a message.

\--  twinArmageddons [ TA] began pestering  terminallyCapricious [TC] at 11:32 --

TA : 2up

TC :  eY mOtHeR fUcKeR :o)

TA : why do you type liike that

TC : lIkE wHaT? ;o)

TA : ...

TA : nevermiind

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering terminallyCapricious [TC] at 11:37 -- 

"Ight bro, I gueth Ill thee you later?" Sollux said as he put away his phone.

"Yeah, I might skip the rest of school, I'll see, but I guess I will see you sometime?" Gamzee said, still unaware that his eyeliner was down to his chin.

"Yeah, bye I gueth" Sollux said, walking back to his Honda. Gamzee picks up his cigarette off the ground and decides to walk towards the front of the school. It was nice that Sol was so laid back, he expected the nerd to be uptight and no fun, but he guesses that he will become more nerdy once the project goes into full swing. 

"Mr. Makara!" Gamzee jumps and whips around to see that the school principal was walking towards the school gym and caught him. Gamzee pulls the cig out of his mouth and hides it behind his back like it was going to do something. "Mr. Makara, please dispose of that thing and meet me in my office" The principal said. Aww shit he was in trouble. Gamzee dropped the cig and stomped on it before he walked to the doors of the school and begrudgingly headed towards the office.


End file.
